Life can be a complicated mess many days per year:) but it´s also an incredibly rich, beautiful and fragile road of adventure and passion. I had a pretty intense fall last year. It was just like too much was going on at the same time in every aspect of my life. It was exhausting.
I´ve always had a big love-thing for meditation, which is the perfect companion, friend and stabilizer for my life. But it´s also a great lover and muse for my creativity. Creativity and meditation are like yin and yang, but still somehow similar in its essence. You alter between intensity and peacefulness in a delicious way. Funny though is that I find that intensity that is a part of creation often slowly puts me in a sort of meditative state.
But even though meditation always has been helping me to find clarity, calm my body down and create that inner space for peacefulness, this last fall nothing seemed to help. It was just like my body had gone up a notch in intensity and did not want to come back down to my basic level of peacefulness. I didn’t know what to do.
For 10 years I have felt so drawn to explore meditation more deeply through education, but I´ve always seemed to find the perfect reasons for why it´s not quite the right time:) I believe that things we instinctly know are really powerful for us, can naturally be slightly scary, and it´s not uncommon to shut down when something powerful is knocking at our door. BUT – Back in October a few triggers made me:
Stop. Listen. and DO IT. I just can´t tell you how good it felt.
So, I went back to school and learned the beautiful art of Mindfulness. It´s been such a treat and the peacefulness that took place in my heart the very first day I started my education was indescribable. You know when something feels so right that you just want to start crying:) It´s like your soul has been waiting for you to follow through with something for so long, and when you finally do – it´s like a huge release of powers that are handed to you. Stones are falling and life begins again.
I am sort of an ambitious person:) always been and always will… not be anymore:)……Well, listen – something that struck me in the moment of taking the decision to actually make this dream come true, was that I did not want to do this the same way as I´ve always had done things before. Planning, calculating, researching, mapping. No. It just didn´t feel right.
So the very first day in class, when the teacher asked us:
- What is your plan with this education?
Every single one of my classmates had very specific plans of how they were going to internalize mindfulness in their profession or career, but I heard myself saying:
- No…. I don´t really want to have a plan. I just want to experience this fully as it happens and then I will just let thing unfold as life plans it.
The relief of saying that out loud was so yummy. See, I really DO like to plan stuff, there is really nothing wrong with planning, it can be kind of awesome actually:) and I would never have been able to do the things that I´ve done in my past without some serious planning and analysing. But this time…. Well, it was just time for a new approach:)
To just follow the adventure, let things unfold, plan when I feel it´s time to plan and let myself enjoy the ride. So if you hear me talk or write about mindfulness the upcoming months, you´ll know why:) It´s because I can´t resist it. If you want to know more about mindfulness, I wrote a short description here!
And for the record – I am still selling patterns and fabric:) – just sayin´…